Hello! I think it is no surprise to say that I have had to answer the questions "What does Noelia have? Or “what happened here?" on various occasions. But, then again, it's perfectly normal for people who know anything about hemangiomas to be curious.
I wondered what other questions other moms have had to answer and that is how this article was born.
I asked a group of moms “What uncomfortable questions have you been asked about your babies' hemangiomas?” I got more than 200 comments in one day, so I decided to share the first 25 responses, and gradually continue to share in my following articles
I must admit that some of the responses I got really moved me; others bothered me, and others just left me speechless.
It is incredible! Not only the lack of knowledge out there on the subject, but also the lack of empathy and kindness that some people have towards mothers and babies with hemangiomas. Not to mention the lack of tact sometimes demonstrated to mothers that may be having a difficult time.
It is important to emphasize that I do not judge the lack of knowledge, because I was also a person who had no idea what a hemangioma was and I fully understand that it is a term that is not heard frequently.
So this is the main purpose of this article, to raise awareness and invite more people to become informed, spread the word about the existence of these birthmarks so we can reduce these types of uncomfortable situations.
I also want to mention that asking is okay and there is nothing wrong with it! You just have to do it the right way. We as moms are also learning to be patient and not be offended by the questions we receive. In fact, we welcome them. Who wouldn’t want more acceptance for their child?
I want to quote Katie, one of the moms who participated in this survey, who sent a comment that I consider important to share:
“I personally don't get offended by comments and questions. I realize that people are uneducated and generally curious about the matter, and sometimes say or ask strange things because they don't understand. And the people who make negative comments about how they look, I ignore because I realize they are superficial people and it's their problem if external looks matter that much. It doesn't change how I view my girls, they are absolutely gorgeous no matter what anyone else thinks.”
I thank all the moms who joined and shared their personal experiences for this article.
Without further ado, here are some of the responses I received. I hope that if you are a mother of a strawberry baby you know that you are not alone and that we have all been through some question or comment out of place.
And if you are a person looking for information about hemangiomas, I hope these answers from real moms will help you not ask the wrong kind of questions.
Hemangioma Mommas respond to:
What have been the most uncomfortable questions you have been asked about your baby's hemangioma?
1. “The simple “what’s that on her face?!” Makes me cringe every time”
2. “A friend asked me once if someone bit my baby. I was also asked if she was burned.
I thought that was a weird one because if she had a huge burn on her arm, wouldn’t it be covered by a bandage???”
3. “Did you hit your baby? Most of the questions (not that one) get asked by little kids and I had no problem answering as they are young and simply don't know. It’s the questions that came from adults that hurt the most.
4. “Is that going to go away?”
5. “My sons looked like a goose egg at one point so other kids would assume it’s a bobo and ask if he is okay ...they would say, ”What’s that?” “Did he fall?” - Other genuinely concerned questions from children”
6. “What is wrong with him? And then when I explained that it would go away eventually, she said ‘oh, thank god!’
7. “People would ask me if she won a fight. Ugh”
8. “Do you ever want to try to pop it like a pimple?”
9. “I had someone tell me my daughter was bleeding. She wasn’t... it was just her 3 hemangiomas on her face. 🙈”
10. “What is wrong with her face? What happened? What is that? 🙄”
11. “It’s not questions that bother me, it’s the way MANY older people say, “I’ll pray for her” like they assumed she was sick. Its realllllly pisses me off.”
12. “For me, I’m most uncomfortable when I know someone can see the hemangioma but won’t ask about it at all. I’d rather answer someone’s question and put the knowledge out there. But I can totally tell when someone is staring and won’t say anything.”
13. “Isn’t there anything they can do about that?”
14. “Do you think if you just stuck a needle in and popped it, you could just drain all the blood and make it go away?”
15. “Cashier talking to baby "its okay mum and dad can cut that off"
16. “What caused it? Did you take something during your pregnancy to have them born like that?”
17. “You need to have it removed or she will never find a husband with that thing on her belly.”
18. “I brought my daughter into daycare one day and a dad asked what happened to her boo-boo and I said it was a birthmark. He happen to be in there at the same time the next day and called her mole girl 🙄”
19. “Oh my gosh look at that ringer!,What’s wrong with her eye?!?”
20. “If you and your child need help getting out of an abusive situation, you can always message me.”
21. “The most offensive thing was one lady accused me or "someone" of obviously burning my baby with a cigarette”
22. “My ex-husband saw my son and he told his wife "having another baby wouldn't be so bad, just as long as it doesn't have that thing on it's head"
23. “My daughter is 4mths old and has a fairly large Hemangioma on her right hand. When we were out for a walk an older lady stopped us. She was saying how cute she was, then saw my daughter’s hand and asked me if I jammed her hand in a door?
I explained it was a birthmark to which she replied “oh that looks horrendous” With a disgusted look on her face! I cried the rest of the way home 😭”
24. “An old man looked my daughter in the face and said “you’d be so pretty without that” I was nearly in tears I was so mad.”
25. “Aren’t you worried she’ll get bullied?””
If you've received any other questions or comments, don't hesitate to share!
Follow me on instagram ❤️
Comments